Word Up

Who the frick decides what the page is for the keywords you type in to Google? Death pointing to the death clock is fine (mine’s Wednesday, July 30, 2053 BTW), but I tried “God” and got … The Interview with God, a slideshow of beautiful landscapes (by which we mean untouched by the hand of man – are you with me and the few who find industrial wastelands beautiful?), to cheesy piano music and with a scrolling, cutesy unthreatening chat with Mr God about his vision in making the World, etc.

I mean if I was interviewing God, I’d definitely do it the Jerry Springer way, bringing in Joesph partway through so they could have a fistfight about that fecking Jahweh sleeping with his woman, then question him to sh*t about his multiple personality disorder (“Yeah, you’re your own son, whatever.”) I’d ask questions a touch trickier than “How should your children behave?” more like “Whose god are you? I want a straight clear definition, that doesn’t smite me to death on the spot. And while we’re at it, where’ve you been, bitch? If we’re your kids, where’s the CSA payments? Oh, stuck in the system eh?”

I like the fact that “Christ on a bike” produces a 1995 game called Motor Cross 30 A.D. though. “For instance, on the washout course you can choose to go over the water rather than through it and so on. But watch out – use more than three miracles per lap and you get crucified!” Classic.

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