F.U.P.

F.U.Q.
(Frequently Used Profanities.)

Mine are “Piss N’ Blood”, “Arsebandit”, “Fucktarts” and “Kant”. What are yours?

(This is actually a dead clever way of increasing my hits by using obscene language; I get enough of the “sexy gril” hits anyway…)

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GriddleOctopus

There are few harder things in life than introducing yourself, especially in print where mellifluous nuance can turn to indulgent wankery. So. I am definitely a 'writer'. You could also call me an 'artist'. I could probably put the words 'designer' and 'consultant' here too, but they feel crass.

3 comments

  • Okay, I’ll bite.I don’t swear a huge amount (given that my other half frowns deeply upon it) so I’ll have to give you my favourites (beyond the obvious ones), instead: “Turd”, “pissflaps”, “wollocks” are all fine obscene interjections, and when you need a profane insult, you can’t beat “fuckwit”, “scrotumface” or “shitstabber”.

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  • How about a few office classics? To express frustration while waiting for tardy servers to get their ducks in a row: “Cockbadgers”General expression of regret at one’s own shortcomings: “Oh, fucksocks”When a production process which was previously running smoothly suddenly takes a turn for the worst close to deadline, things are said to have all gone “cuntybooby”, or alternatively “slightly arsewise”Also, some of my Scottish friends on a popular Dennis publication would, in the same situation, use the word “muckty”, as in “the feature’s all muckty, I’d better rewrite it”

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  • ‘shit the bed’?better, this dyslexises nicely into ‘shibboleth’.tard words: mayotard, custard, whittard (they make shit tea) and my favourite, nelly furtard.i’m sorry to say since we decided that ‘gash’ is more offensive than ‘cunt’, we’ve been using it more often. shame really.

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