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Guardian Unlimited | Life | Atomic tomatoes are not the only fruit: “The Chinese news agency Xinhua stated that, ‘in China the radiation effect is always positive, leading to bigger and better vegetables that will revolutionise agriculture.'”

Right, I’m flying to China so I can be exposed to radiation and become SuperGrill, able to sear food and remove fat in seconds. I’m afeared of my Nemesis George Foreman, but I’m hoping my sidekick Muhammed ‘Chemical’ Ali will be able to spike his hotplate…

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