Been a while, good buddies. I’ve visiited the US. since I last posted, and lived without blogging for a goodly while. However today’s little briefing isn’t anything about LA, or the war, as I’m sticking to my favourite topic; me.

That’s right, today, I’m just listing all those foot in mouth situations that keep cropping up, day by day:

1) Asking a PR just how handsome a particularly geeky-looking programmer is, when I meant to ask how hands-on he is.

2) Making a comment about a flatmate’s buxom girlfriend, then spending half an hour trying to justify how fat girls are better, with the comment that was rapidly quashed by astounded onlookers ” a fat girl’s just like a moped…”

3) Telling a friend of mind a joke, then telling her I didn’t expect her to get it cos “you’re blonde”, then saying “it’s alright we all know you’re not a real blonde anyway.”

4) There was also some comment about how nice a friend’s girlfriend’s necklace was, and how I’d like to give her a pearl one.

I think that’ll do for foot in mouth for now…


Got stoned a couple of nights back. Taking a while to flush from my system. Since I last wrote anything of value, I’ve been to the States (californIA) for the first time (big streets, theme park feel) to see a MMORPGame, pleasant dream follows. There’s a big pie on a stick outside my bedroom windows, and I’m reaching for it, and it’s sprouted two little short-crust legs (bi-pied?), and is running, running, running like the whole of Bury’s chasing it, and I’m leaning out of my window, dreamily, head on arms, watching it run off into the sunset, whilst my dream body is chasing a many-legged pie through a forest of sausage-skinned trunks.

Everyone’s been taking the piss out of my name today. I’ve got two messenger addresses, and I called them respectively Grill’s in the Mist and Mist to the Grill. Then up popped Grill’s aloud, Grill, You’re a woman now, ShowGrills, Gregory’s Grill,

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About GriddleOctopus

There are few harder things in life than introducing yourself, especially in print where mellifluous nuance can turn to indulgent wankery. So. I am definitely a 'writer'. You could also call me an 'artist'. I could probably put the words 'designer' and 'consultant' here too, but they feel crass.