The Policeman’s Blog: “Over the Festive period, you may run out of DVDs to watch, the kids may break all their toys and you may get so bored you might decide to ring the police. If you live in the Newtown area, Mrs. C has asked me to tell you NOT to ring the police…

My allergies drive me insane. I may have harped on this theme before, so if you’ve heard it, skip to the laughter track. I am individually allergic to dairy products, hairy animals, sesame seeds, etc. Though I’m finally growing out of these, extended exposure does bring out the relevant eczema/asthma/anaphylactic shock. So it’s very annoying…

(Silent Grill restrains breath to catch nascent tremors of first tsunami jokes.)

PlayBot 2005: ” ‘No robot was permanently harmed or injured during the shooting of the calendar.’”

Why whites of eyes spell ‘danger’ So that scared look on my face is perpetually infectious… that explains my sociopathic tendencies. Anyway, marry christians, one and all!