L:fe Update

14 comments

Something seems to have happened. Either I’m going through a extreme-pheromone phase, the female population of the world has gone mad in the run-up to Valentine’s day, or my waking dreams have become more vivid. I seem to have become popular with the extra-geners for a period of two weeks (I even pulled/was pulled using the Aeneid at the weekend). Of course, some of this is due to the intervention of friends supplying me with much-wanted opportunities to meet said ladies, but there’s a statistically significant change I’m sure…

Also, weirdness: when I’m out with people, loads seem to assume I’m some sort of sexual beast who has sown his wild oats repeatedly into the quilt of mankind; everyone assumes I have tremendous sexual experience, like some roving-handed Grendelian beast. Do they not know me very well? I’m a computer games journalist for christ’s sake…

14 comments on “L:fe Update”

  1. Well everyone finds that they become irresistable to other women as soon as they get a girlfriend, presumably because they no longer look desperately hungry. But you’ve cracked it: by *actually* not giving a shit you thereby woo them in with your casual charm.Oh and it might be your huge schlong too.

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  2. But it’s not the size that counts, I thought? Just the girth… So you’re saying, my narcissism(isussisim?) has reached such astounding proportions, that my love for myself has formed a permanent relationship, therefore giving me said casual charm. Or am I saying that? No, no, I’m not. Well, while this lasts, I’d better come back to Oxford soon… 😀

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  3. I think that people with partners seem more attractive ’cause their ‘I’m not a dickhead’ certification has been ratified by someone else. Just a theory.I am never going to pronounce upon my personal experience of penis size to a boy. I want to keep my friends, and not hurt any of their feelings. In addition I have not had enough experience of all the relevant variables to be able to have a fully informed opinion. I hope that analysis of preliminary data may be proved wrong. And anyway, what of relative size? If you’re gonna be picky one way, you may as well be picky the other. Which would be lead to unwelcome introspection….

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  4. I have always found that you are more attractive once you are in a relationship. It’s a founding principal of human nature: Someone else has it so you want it.I once went out for a takeaway in a very happy post coital glow and left with the phone number of the very attractive girl who took my order.

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  5. Interesting, I feel we are on the very cusp of a sociological, anthropological, goddammit maybe even epistemological, breakthrough here.I as a personage of the male gender find girls much less attractive when they are hitched. Not sure if it’s the sloppy seconds dimension or just the fact that they are supposedly not attainable when attached. I have noticed the other comments in this thread are broadly consistent with this supposition(males become more attractive when hitched, females less so). So, here’s my theory:Males are less attractive because if they duff up a female who is bonded with another male, how can they tell whether the offspring is theirs or the other chap’s? However, women, since they can always be sure the offspring will be theirs, might as well cash in on the ‘I’m not a dickhead’ certification of a man who is bonded to another woman…Discuss.Meanwhile – Gril, can we have some photographic evidence please?Signed,Cammell-Laird

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  6. Dammit, fucked up that last post:First sentence, para 3 is supposed to read:”Males are less attracted to hitched females because if they attempt to duff them up, how can they tell whether the offspring is theirs or the other chap’s?”YoursCammell-Laird

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  7. An interesting and sensible theory, Mr Laird, which two of our discussion members (Toller & Chiarina) are perfectly placed to investigate being both doctors of biology-stuff and hornystudents.Chi-chi-chiarina; Don’t worry we’re not actually bothered about penis size – there’s as much point as worrying about the orbit of the moon, it’s not something we can really alter. As you know, as part of male banter, it’s a trope to make penis size jokes, as they’re easy morale boosters and indicate a free, honest and easy relationship between said parties. (Though I was a little depressed at “I hope that analysis of preliminary data may be proved wrong”, which bemoans men not living up to your standards one way or another; I’d like to apologise for my gender and also extend the penis, I mean *hand* of consolation. Everything okay up there? Sorry I didn’t pop in to say ‘hi’ when I was in Oxenford two weekends ago, but you were probably in London anyway.)

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  8. And the database geek sits here and laughs her head off at the whole thing. Computers *are* sexy… and I’m sure a computer games journalist has the lead on some of the guys in this office. One of which described himself as ‘dopey bear’ this morning.I’d pop round and sniff the pheromones and let you know, but I’ve already made one foray into Baker Street today, and it’s about to pour with rain, and it’s warm and cozy in here.~x~

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