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The Onion | Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New ‘Intelligent Falling’ Theory:

“KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held ‘theory of gravity’ is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

‘Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, ‘God’ if you will, is pushing them down,’ said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.”