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Stupid Human Year WHATEVER, day 3

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Oh, mum! I’ve got ichor in my beard! I’ve got ichor in my nose! I’ve got bits of demon stuck in my chainmail shirt! HOW DO YOU CLEAN CHAINMAIL? Calm down, calm, calm. I’m lucky to be alive; I don’t mean to worry you, but when the demon fizzed and exploded I was standing right next to it. If it hadn’t been for Fishy Heinrich grabbing my fingers as I went over the cliff edge I’d be food for the sparrows. Starlings? Whatever eats flattened dwarf anyway. Around here, it’s probably flying beastmen. [more...]

iPhone Board Game Conversions: Reviewed

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To the tune of: Count Basie – Board Meeting – Original

I’ve been playing lots of board games on the iPhone.  Many of the old family favourites are on there, normally produced by EA, and accurately represented; but, let’s face it, the mechanics of most of those are highly simple or broken in key ways. Y’know, Connect 4 is solved (perfect play, even on both sides, still results in the first player winning); Monopoly rewards people who buy every square they land on and focus on developing the highest probability tiles; and the Game of Life is [more...]

Stupid Human Year 2252

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To the tune of: Bloodhound Gang – Your Only Friends Are Make Believe

GamesMaster Kieron has persuaded Quinns, Matt Sheret and I to join a game of Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay. I’m playing a dwarven student called Grok. I’m already addicted.

Stupid Human Year 2252.

Dear mother, da, and family.

Well, here I am in the Empire! I’m writing this in a waterfront bar which is full of Local Colour. Everyone is very friendly, though the beer seems rather expensive and not at all beerlike. It’s very thin and has hardly any mould or meat in it; no flavour whatsoever!

Oh, I forgot to [more...]