World Exclusive Bioshock Review.

Review: Bioshock – Official Xbox 360 Magazine

Amazingly-written and beautifully constructed, it’s a complete emotional-rollercoaster that we can’t draw any parallels with, not because it defies comparison but because any such comparison would give away some of the plot and it would be a tremendous moral crime for us to spoil this gem in any way. If you want to avoid ruining this game for yourself and others, would you kindly not talk to anyone about it until you know they’ve completed it too?

My review’s gone online, about 40 days after I wrote it. World Exclusive means Jack Shit a month later. Magazine lead times are shit, y’know?

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The French Maid

Tuesday 23 August 1664 (Pepys’ Diary)

Lay long talking with my wife, and angry awhile about her desiring to have a French mayde all of a sudden, which I took to arise from yesterday’s being with her mother. But that went over and friends again, and so she be well qualitied, I care not much whether she be French or no, so a Protestant.

Fascinating quote from Pepys’ diary. In Pepys’ time, a maidservant from France was seen as a sign that your lady wife might be converting to Catholicism and for a government servant like Pepys this was a dangerous sign, as Catholics were still seen as a fifth column in the country, obeying the Pope over King & Country. Nowadays, the husband is keen on the French maid; it’s the wife who’s concerned.

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My Average Friend

You’re my average friend (on Facebook, at least). You like music above all, with a slight fondness for writing, technology and poker. You went to Oxford, where you did English and Law, you’re liberal, and your first name is James (it would be James, Ben, Martin, Mark or Adam but only James is the average length). You live in London, England.

Your top ten movies
“ ”
Fight club
Donnie Darko
Star Wars
Shaun of the Dead
Hot Fuzz
Pulp Fiction
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Requiem for a Dream

Apparently you are a NIHILIST who likes nothing above all (incidentally, isn’t Walter’s line in The Big Lebowski, in response to Donny’s shout of “Nazis” “No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there’s nothing to be afraid of” an excellent summary of nihilism?) Nothing, that is, except semi-fantastical action with a dark edge of humour.

Your top TV:

Peep show
Family guy
Brass eye
The Simpsons
Battlestar Galactica
Curb your enthusiasm

So you’re an escapist then – Coronation St and Eastenders don’t make your top ten, but the kooky soap opera that is Lost is easily your favourite show. You’re also deeply sardonic/sick/wrong and take more of your culture from the USA than the UK.

Your top music:

Arcade fire
The smiths
Foo fighters
Jeff Buckley
The killers
White stripes

I’ve never listened to the Arcade Fire. How can you be a friend of mine? Assuming they’re like the rest of your tastes, you like droney depressed white men singing about how weird life/relationships are.

Your top books:

Catch 22
His dark materials
Slaughterhouse Five
V for vendetta
Fight club

Notably, you don’t read that much; you’ve only entered half as many books as you have movies and a quarter as many as TV. Again it’s all escapist stuff, with an edge of depression and mental illness. Nice.

Automatic Stalinism

Rossignol. I like the way you can automatically erase people from pictures. Imagine if we’d had this in the 30s and 40s, Stalin could have liquidated all those photo-erasing types with ease. Instant image manipulation is ripe for – imagine if this were in-camera and you could just point to the bit you wanted gone, the inadvertent element that didn’t agree with your story and upload it instantly. There would be no truth in photography any more, no belief in the world as it is. Awesome.

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