It’s not complicated, it’s over.

So. Jill split up with me. Here’s how it went.

My friend Chiarina, who I’ve not seen for too many years, had mailed me months ago with a life update, demanding I send one packed with revelations back to her. Being an open sort of person, I was open about nearly all the crap that’s been happening in my life (you need to hold some juice back for the biopic, mhmm?) She recommended, on the basis of what I said about only seeing my girlfriend three times this year and hardly talking, that I leave Jill immediately (and drop out and sleep in a car, but, y’know, I’m working on it.)
Perturbed by this, I wandered over to Facebook and was fiddling around, when I noticed the relationship status options included “it’s complicated”. Feeling that was apropos, I changed it to that from “in a relationship with Jill O’Reilly”. At which point it said “this status update has been sent to Jill O’Reilly for confirmation.” Which scared the shit out of me, but I had other, bigger, things to worry about, so forgot about it.
Until, that is, I was sitting in the BFI on the South Bank and I noticed it has free wireless access. So I dug out my PDA and checked my emails and found, lo and behold, my Facebook message has prompted Jill to end it, albeit in a very sweet way.
So, after a year of bollocksing about, I’m single again. After a month’s hiatus, any offers to set me up with your smelly sister (by which I mean “nun”) will be wholeheartedly considered.

15 thoughts on “It’s not complicated, it’s over.”

  1. Dude! That’s insane. Facebook destroyed your relationship. Can’t you explain to her that all you meant by ‘It’s complicated’ was that you didn’t get to see her enough?

  2. Ok, that’s about the most surprising blog post I have ever read. Am I more surprised by the fact that you haven’t replied to me, or by the fact that Jill acted on the suggestion that I in fact gave to you. Didn’t mean to perturb you man, just felt that rather than being ‘negative little sacks of emotion’ to lug about, relationships should be warm, fluffy, with a healthy amount of activities carried out supine, or however you like it. And I didn’t say you should live out of your car and quit all wage-related activity, but that there are many different ways to live a life, and that it does one good to think about them all. Feel better soon x

  3. Hey Chiarina, I will reply – it’s on my to-do list, right after I reply to Jill. Jill was kinda prompted by my facebook actions which were kinda prompted by that email. You know I take your advice very seriously (mainly because it’s well-considered, good advice.)

  4. Thanks Grillo! Btw, you have a pda? Poser! Lose it! Why do you think your cyber-life is so important that you have to carry it around with you all the time? Don’t you spend enough time at work? Was your grassy interlude at all improved by discovering you’d been dumped? (But I don’t mean you should chuck it in a river now, easy tiger!)

  5. Ha ha well maybe not grassy interlude. Is there grass in the BFI? All I saw was ‘South Bank’, but maybe that’s not grassy either. Not being a Landana I don’t know. Possibly I spent too many years in Oxford. http://www.flickr.com/photos/chiarina/sets/72157600218720525/
    And speaking of coincidences, sight of the sad end of my last romance.
    Hey, you should go and check out the mp3s I posted on my music website, I think you’d like them grilly grilbo!

  6. I got it for free a couple of years back and, because it would have cost lots of money, I feel obliged to use it. No, no grass on the South Bank. I think you’re thinking of the grassy knoll (gnoll?), which is weird as you have no alibi for the day of JFK’s death, do ya, huh?
    Sad picture, of the river near the Botanic garden, eh?
    I will go and listen to your MP3s now – though I notice you’ve stopped me downloading them for listening at mine leisure… 🙂

  7. Your post got me thinking about Lea. In the first five months of the year I’ve probably seen her four times, albeit in big chunks of weeklong breaks. She’s over here next week.

    I’m amazed we’ve held it together – five years apart, we probably see each other less than two months every year, but we do try. MSN and webcams truly help, I genuinely miss her whenever I’m doing something fun. It’s always fun that she could be experiencing with me.

    For us it’s not complicated, just ridiculous.

    /end rambles

    Still, musn’t grumble. Stiff upper lip. And all the other things people say in lieu of feeling things.

  8. No not the mp3s of me, the mp3s I ripped from old vinyl and posted! They’re listed under ‘gems’…If you want mp3s of me I’ll send you them. But if you like I can sing to you via skype, which weirdly I seem to be doing a lot for various people at the moment.

Argue with me