Come On Nietzsche


Come on Nature by the Proclaimers.

Why did I assume they were saying “Come On Nietzsche”? Would they walk five thousand miles to see some shadows cast on a cave wall? Would they send a letter to America declaring the death of god? The only link between them and the ubermensch is twin studies…

This site is excellent: The Nietzsche Family Circus.

Apologies, I’ve been in the office too long. Rambling, dangerous rambling again. Home, Dan.


UK:RESISTANCE

# Being MADE to review Splinter Cell because no one ever wants to review Splinter Cell because Splinter Cell is boring, too hard and rubbish, and only liked by weirdos who pay fat prostitutes to sandpaper their cocks in dungeons at the weekend while they let out the tears of pain away from the wife and kids.

Gary, that needed to be said. Thank you.

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Tom’s GalCiv Game


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PC Gamer Blog: GalCiv 2 War Report: Final Entry – PC Gamer Magazine

GalCiv 2 War Report

My family did the whole Easter thing a week early this year, for reasons that you’d have to be a Francis to ever truly understand, so I had no religious festivals this bank holiday weekend. So I felt I owed it to the risen corpse of Jesus Christ himself to spend the lion’s share of it conquering a vast galaxy in my boxer shorts.

If you’ve ever played a strategy game. Galactic Civilisations is the best Civ game I’ve ever played and I recommend it to anyone who likes losing days of their life. My friend Tom Francis has written an excellent ramble extolling its virtues; go, read.

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Happy Cheesecake Day

Yes, for Jews all over the world this is Cheesecake day! The day where you’re obliged to eat Cheesecake or Blintzes, Shavuot, the festival of, uh, cheese. Wikipedia has this explanation of “the night before the Torah was given, the Jews went to sleep to be well-rested for the big day ahead. However, they failed to rise early, and Moses had to come to wake them up to meet God, Who was already waiting atop the mountain”. So they were rewarded with Cheesecake. The Jewish aspect of the monotheist’s god is a wonderfully arbitrary chap and the fact that he’ll massacre 15,000 people for saying Aaron’s a bit greedy about his clothing but doesn’t mind his entire nation sleeping in and forgetting about this book he’s written , that he’d like them to memorise and study intently every day for eternity.

It’s not complicated, it’s over.

So. Jill split up with me. Here’s how it went.

My friend Chiarina, who I’ve not seen for too many years, had mailed me months ago with a life update, demanding I send one packed with revelations back to her. Being an open sort of person, I was open about nearly all the crap that’s been happening in my life (you need to hold some juice back for the biopic, mhmm?) She recommended, on the basis of what I said about only seeing my girlfriend three times this year and hardly talking, that I leave Jill immediately (and drop out and sleep in a car, but, y’know, I’m working on it.)
Perturbed by this, I wandered over to Facebook and was fiddling around, when I noticed the relationship status options included “it’s complicated”. Feeling that was apropos, I changed it to that from “in a relationship with Jill O’Reilly”. At which point it said “this status update has been sent to Jill O’Reilly for confirmation.” Which scared the shit out of me, but I had other, bigger, things to worry about, so forgot about it.
Until, that is, I was sitting in the BFI on the South Bank and I noticed it has free wireless access. So I dug out my PDA and checked my emails and found, lo and behold, my Facebook message has prompted Jill to end it, albeit in a very sweet way.
So, after a year of bollocksing about, I’m single again. After a month’s hiatus, any offers to set me up with your smelly sister (by which I mean “nun”) will be wholeheartedly considered.

Gmail Wipe!

Finally! Google has finally seen fit to introduce the “select all” function to Gmail. I have now marked all of the 25,420 unread messages in my inbox as read. Please don’t fill it up as quickly again, chaps.

gmailwipe2

I’d like to point out that since my cameras both got nicked, I haven’t been able to take any photos so I’m resorting to uploading stuff from my mobile phone and thinking *really* hard about the photos I want to take. I’m going to start writing down spots and go back to them when my camera finally arrives.

Film Baton

To quote my pal Pettitt (see, I can still spell it Jimbo) “SUPPOSEDLY if you’ve seen over 85 films, you have no life. Mark the ones you’ve seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list, go to your own facebook account / blog, paste this as a note. Then, put x’s next to the films you’ve seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom. Have fun.” He got 115, I got 100. I plead books, the internet and computer games as distractions.

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total: 9

(x) The Princess Bride
( ) AnchorMan
( ) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
(x) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
( ) 50 First Dates
( ) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 12

(x) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
( ) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 17

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Harry Potter 5
(x) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
( ) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 25

(x) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
( ) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
( ) 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
(x) Robots
Total so far: 30

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
( ) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG
Total so far: 37

( ) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
(x) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
( ) Flubber
Total so far: 41

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
(x) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 43

( ) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child’s Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
( ) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
( ) Sixteen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 44

( ) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Sleven
(x) Ocean’s Eleven
(x) Ocean’s Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 51

(x) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 55

( ) Best Bet
( ) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She’s All That
( ) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
( ) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
( ) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 63

(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
( ) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
( ) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 70

( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street
( ) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf’s Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 70

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 76

( ) Baseketball
( ) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
( ) Elf
(x) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History X
( ) Three
Total so Far: 77

( ) The Jacket
(x) Kung Fu Hustle
(x) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
Total so far: 83

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
(x) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
(x) Waterworld
Total so far: 88

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 90

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x)Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 96

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
( ) The Matrix Revolutions
( ) Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
( ) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal
Total so far: 100