Because UV is a Hairy-Legged Girl’s Best Friend


Ultraviolet Light Is Key to Spider Mating

And in jungles all over the world, the coming of the black lights symbolises a time for… love. Female spiders cease munching on their tiny wannabe beloveds and instead stare longingly into their remaining eyes. Jungle shrieks and squawks segue into groaning saxes and pumping rhythms, Barry White love-making music. Uhuh, you hear what I’m saying woman? Do those legs go all the way up? All eight of them, all hairy eight? mm-hmm, woman!

Casi-No.

BBC NEWS | Politics | Manchester wins ‘super-casino’

Manchester also represented a good place to test the social impact of a super-casino, and “the council’s consultations with other local authorities and relevant bodies gave us confidence on that”, added Prof Crow.

“Manchester has a catchment area for a casino second only to that of London, and it is an area in need of regeneration at least as much as any of the others we observed.

“Indeed, the city has the greatest need in terms of multiple deprivation of all the proposals that were before us,” said Professor Crow.

Oh… bollocks. We’re a test site for casinos? Because of our “multiple deprivation.” You honestly think that establishing a giant casino is somehow going to heal the city’s ills? How? We’re going to be a Mecca for every gangster, people smuggler and low-life in Europe – and by Mecca I mean a place of pilgrimage from which all return richer, right? Is this some sort of Southern plot to destroy Manchester?

I wonder where the casino’s going to be situated as well. I mean “The super casino will have a minimum customer area of 5,000 square metres and up to 1,250 unlimited-jackpot slot machines” so it’ll need a lot of elbow room. Casino Times says it’ll be a “a run-down area of east Manchester, which would see a £265m investment and create 2,700 direct and indirect jobs.” So, hum. Cheetham Hill? There’s a lot of long-term unemployed (gangsters) in that area.

I think it’s a fix anyway. What are the chances that the bookies fixed the panel so they wouldn’t choose London or Blackpool, the odds-on favourites. What a good start that would be…

We Heart Google

Inadvertantly, whilst I was trying to send a document to myself for copyright purposes on Gmail, I noticed a new button – open in Google Documents. I clicked it, agreed to another contract that I never read, and went in. It’s fecking amazing, a full word-processor online, completing eroding the need for the bloated Word I currently use.

Excited, I popped over to Google Labs and installed a few random Firefox extensions, before spotting Google Trends; Griliopoulos of course brought up no results, but Grill… Anyway, then I ran out of cool stuff and went to bed. The End.